Just hold your breath to make sure you wont wake up again.

I can't keep doing this to myself.
Seeing your face, or your new fucking "girlfriends'", ruins me.
I'm dying on the inside and the worst part is you made me swear off the only thing I can do to get by.
Walking through the living room I think of you, outside my house I remember sitting in your car all those nights, driving to ____'s house I think of that song you always sang and how I'd laugh like crazy, in ____'s house I think of the time we spent together and how much fun we had.
You can never tell me you'd take that back.
Then I couldn't stop smiling now I can't fucking stop crying.

Put a gun to my head and paint the walls of my brain.
Even Fight Club reminds me of you.

You forced yourself in to every part of my life and then ripped it all away like it meant nothing.
We both know it meant something, however minuscule.
I just can't keep doing this to myself.

You've ruined me.
Are you happy?

Please do me a favor and either come back fully or leave completely. I can't keep having you thrust in to my life and ripped away, it's breaking me down and I don't think I can make it through another day without breaking my promise.

Why would you care anyway?
You don't give a shit about me anymore.

I'm so tired of this.
I hate hating myself.
I hate not being able to hate you.
Please kill me.