Almost 3am and you're all I can think about.

Hell, no matter what time you're all I can think about.
I like you entirely too much for my own good.
I want you so badly it hurts.
You say all the right things most of the time and that freaks me out. I keep thinking back to "All men know the right things to say to get in a girl's pants." but my heart keeps telling my head to shut up and that this is way too much work just to get in my pants. You call me pretty, beautiful, attractive, sexy, cute, I just don't see what you see in me most of the time.
I have been trained through past experiences to think that I'm never good enough. That my respective boo will always find someone or something better.

You feel different though.

You're the first one that I feel like I can actually trust. You've implied a thousand times over that you want all of me no matter what, but when I look in the mirror all I see is 'not good enough,' 'fat,' 'ugly,' 'broken.'
I want you to be the one to try and fix me.
I want you to be the one there when everyone else has fallen to the wayside.
I want you.

You're honestly the first guy I could ever picture myself with. I can see us walking around Temple together and me introducing you to my family and us just being together in general.
You're honestly the first guy I am actually 100% sure about.

Speaking of, I just turned down another dude.
Some Ntown trash that was 'tryna talk' to me at the party last night.
I told him I had a boyfriend.
Apparently I have more swag than I realize.
That's probably a good thing.

I'm extremely afraid of getting hurt but for some reason I feel like you making me this utterly and completely happy is worth the risk of getting dicked over later.
And you do make me extremely happy.

I hope you know exactly what you're getting yourself in to.

I also hope you know what this will do to me if it ends badly.

A Coma Might Feel Better Than This.

Please, someone kill me.
I am 'broken.'
I am 'self-destructive.'
I 'sell myself too short.'
Tell me something I don't know please.

I Ended Up Liking You A LOT More Than I Originally Planned.

This sucks. I know you'll hurt me and my life will fall to ruins again and I don't think I can put myself through that again, but I refuse to distance myself from you even though my heart is begging me to do so.
I don't know where this will go, or if it will go anywhere for that matter.
I want you so badly I can taste it.
I'll see you tomorrow and pretend it's nothing, that everything single cell in my body is not pulling me towards you.
It's freaking me out.
I fall so hard every time and I only realize it when it's far too late.
You'd better try tomorrow. You said you would try.
Please try.
I will not let myself scare yet another man away.

This will not end badly. This will not end badly. This will not end badly.

I certainly won't let it end badly, or end at all for that matter, not if I can help it.