Wednesday, May 19, 2010

ufgehajdsKL

I never realized it before but it physically hurts me to know my friends are in pain.
It's incredibly hard for me not to want to just be where they are and help them through whatever they're upset about.

In other news, we got our Future Goal Letters today.
God, I wish I had taken it more seriously.
It's funny to see how socially inept I was and still am.
I've never been good at making friends or socializing, but seeing all these people with a shit ton of letters from friends was kind of heartbreaking when I only had about five, one of which I hate to the deepest depths of my soul.
I also wish my mom had thought more of me. I was going to wait to read her letter because I thought it would be touching and I didn't want to start crying in the cafeteria, but I read it anyway and just by her words I know she never expected much of me.
Claire's letter from her was sweet, mine was disappointing.

Also, I really need something constant in my life for once.
And I want you to be that constant even though things in my life never turn out that well.
Man up. Just do it already, we both know, or at least I hope, it's inevitable.
Please, I'm begging you, be the one thing I won't live without.
I'll never ask you for anything more.
I am well aware that I'm not perfect but I could try to be for you.
Please, just don't leave me alone, I don't think I can handle another disappointment.

One more thing.
I'm amazed at how suddenly busy these next two weeks are going to be.
Tomorrow, Academic Awards Banquet, I know, who would've guessed?
Friday, hanging out with Kat<3, going to a show in Philly.
Saturday, unfortunately I have a funeral to go to, then more Kat.
Sunday, MORE KAT<3333333
Next Tuesday, GAGAGLEEEEEE!!!!!
Wednesday, Tech graduation, I think I might cry.
Thursday, Im a bit ashamed to admit were going to Sex And The City 2 all dressed up then dinner with my ladies.
Bleeding christ.
I hate being bored and having nothing to do but I also hate having SO MUCH to do.

I can never be satisfied.

3 comments:

  1. My future goal letter was horrible. I barely had any friends in middle school. My mom didn't write me a letter at all. So, I kind of feel you on that FGL stuff.

    Love you <3

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  2. This makes me want to spew all kinds of love all over you.

    ReplyDelete