My life is truly once again a shit show...

...And, no hard feelings, but none of you answered your phones when I really needed you tonight.
Understandable though, it was quite early in the morning so I really don't mind. I ended up talking to my Mum which was amazing. She made me feel a lot better and she's more experienced than any of you would imagine.
Basically this is going to be on the events in my life as of late.

A. Sir from Saturday night: Thank you for not jumping my bones even though we slept in the same bed and we were both trashed. It means more to me than you could ever imagine actually. For once I see that I don't HAVE to sleep with a guy the first night I meet them, even though I may want sex or think that we may work out, sometimes it's just better to wait. For once I see that there's guys who don't JUST want me for a one night stand. I'm not saying that I have feelings for you or that I want anything more than the casual beginnings of a friendship we have now, I just want to let you know that you gave me back a small part of the self respect I haven't had in a long time. And that you're a very good man and whoever gets you should understand and be grateful for what they have.

B. 217: My best friend here is fucking fantastic. I have the biggest girl crush on her. She's unlike anyone I've ever met and it's kind of refreshing. She brings a new perspective to my issues and is unbiased because she didn't watch all of it unfold. She's fantastic and I'm sure you would all love her. Of course, you guys are still my bests. <3 I'm really thankful for her and her nocturnal tendencies, though. We life talk more than we actually hang out and it's fucking fantastic. You give really good advice and we're a lot alike, which is really weird. I also just love your whole personality. Jussayin.

C. Luke is a fucking bastard:
I don't know if you've all heard but he decided to bitch at Con for having Claire and I over on Thursday night, which was also his(Luke's) birthday. I called Luke out about it and he lied to my face/phone, whatever. Anyhow, it ended with him telling me to leave him alone and that he didn't care about me or my sister, where we were, or what we did, basically it ended on a VERY bad note.
So, he texted me this morning about how Math Patterns sucks. I agreed and left it at that. (I choose my battle's carefully with this kid, if I didn't I'd be fighting with him more than I am now, which would be difficult.) Later I was chilling at the residence and he asked what I was up to and we decided we would hang out when I left, mistake number one (I know.)
We went to his dorm and watched some TV, of course there was subtle flirting but nothing intense, especially on my part. Eventually he decides to make his move and try to kiss me, I pulled away and explained that I didn't want to feel like a booty call. He apologized for disrespecting me and said that it wasn't a booty call. BULL FUCKING SHIT, what dude asks a chick to come over at 12:30 at night to just chill, I should have known better.
So get this, five minutes later he tells me I should leave, that he has class in the morning. -.-
Wow, this isn't a booty call but as soon as a deny you, you show me the door. That was even more disrespectful than the (failed)instigation of the act itself. You have a way of making me feel so guilty, you just kept apologizing and looking really upset. I'm FUCKING SICK AND TIRED of your constant mixed signals. No matter what I do or don't do I end up crying, which is why I called every one of my friends, my mom being the only one that answered. You didn't even fucking apologize for the way you treated me last week, not to mention we both know you're talking to that other girl, whether you know I'm aware or not. We really need to talk. Soon. This is fucking my shit up. Thanks for the beer bytheway. Bastard.

D. I slept through math today. This sleep deprivation is getting pretty fucking bad. I managed to go to my 8AM though. :D

E. Apparently my loans didn't go through due to a flaw in the system. It's being fixed, but for now my account is on hold meaning I have no diamond dollars or meal plan till the end of the week. Greeeeaaaaattttttt.

Three shots of rum, a beer and an Adderall does Jamie real good.

-Sigh-

I almost wish that I could go back to random hookup Jamie who didn't give a fuck and just took what she wanted, no strings or feelings attached, at least that would bring a LITTLE happiness to my life. Now everything's shit, I'm sexually and emotionally frustrated and I can't even eat my feelings.
Life sucks. Welcome to college.