Paranoia
noun
A mental condition characterized by delusions of persecution, unwarranted jealousy, or exaggerated self-importance.

To put it bluntly, I'm ruining my own life.
No matter what I always think people are out to get me, even my BEST friends. It's ridiculous.
I think they hate me, they're deliberately leaving me out, they don't want me around.
Frankly, it's getting ridiculous.
Today for example, I bought a pack of cigarettes at Wawa, the guy took my permit and typed something from it in the computer/register thing. It freaked me out, this being only the second time I've bought cigarettes with my permit it was the first time they did that.
Seriously Jamie?
Chill.
I'm putting myself in my own personal hell.

Another example, I always think people are judging me. Usually it's about my weight and given, that's a huge insecurity for me, but I'm sure not EVERYONE is looking at how fucking fat I am. It's fucking ridiculous. Then I start to worry about whether other people worry about things the same way I do and I start freaking out about that.
Gahhh. I'm so fucking ridiculous. I constantly worry about everything. I get so nervous I make myself physically ill an give myself disgusting cold sores, then I freak out over that. I'm fucking ridiculous. I need to stop worrying about what other people think and just get on with my life. GAHHHHHH.